Thursday, November 7, 2013

17 weeks

This is week 1 of child care. It sucks. I miss her and it hurts me. She's doing well and adjusting well. 

She hasn't pooped in 7 days. Worrisome??

My mil said she wished she could feed baby Girl so I could eat dinner. As in breastfeed. Weird. Pissed me off. I haven't seen S all day and you wanna feed her for me? No thanks. I can live without the food. She rang the door bell a few weeks ago. Wtf?? Who rings a doorbell knowing a baby might be asleep?

Wife had paci in her pocket. Left it at work. Last night she took paci from daycare. Tonight she had to drive back to work and get it. Forgetful. 

My bday is coming up. Doesn't seem real. Doesn't seem important. 

I look forward to the wknds so much. 

She blows lots of spit bubbles. She loves to mimic. She's very nosey. Her smiles make everything OKAY. I love her so much. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

She laughed...REALLY laughed!!

She had been fussy all evening. When my MIL came in for the evening she SCREAMED like she had been hurt. She finally calmed down by nursing--multiple times. We wanted to show the MIL a new wall hanging in the nursery my Wife had put up for pictures this past weekend. We put baby Girl in the crib and held the little felt mobile we got at IKEA above her. My Wife had held it above her a few days prior when I was asleep and said she loved it. It was obvious she really does LOVE this. We started trying to think of ways to attach it to her green leaf above her crib. We tried duck tape but that didn't spin it so my Wife got some twine and ran it over the leaf and now the mobile moves. Baby Girl got SO tickled at it once that she started laughing. I mean REALLY laughing. It's almost like she couldn't stop for a minute. It was SO adorable!! My Wife and I both started crying, it was the sweetest moment.

A week from today I return to work. I hope it goes well, for both of us.

We have the first home study meeting today for the 2nd parent adoption. Yay!! We tried to clean the house some yesterday but with baby Girl being cranky it was hard. Plus my MIL didn't offer to help and baby Girl wouldn't let her hold her without crying. My Wife stayed up cleaning last night while I put baby Girl to sleep.

I think my Wife figured out why she has meltdowns--trapped air in her digestive tract. I will try to burp her better and longer and see if that works better.

Baby Girl is 15 weeks old today. WOW!


Saturday, October 19, 2013

14 weeks

She still has endless smiles. We had her pictures made by a professional photographer that we won a contest from. She came to the house today. Feeding and timing were great. Baby Girl smiled a lot so I'm hoping she got some great shots!

She drools all the time. She grabs everything and hangs on for dear life, including my nipple this week one day. Ouch!! She grabbed my hair a few times, too. The Skwish is her favorite toy but she smiles at most anything that has color or a pattern, and strings on a shirt. 

I hate when she cries. Breaks my heart. Sometimes it's really hard. I know what those feel like. They hurt so bad. It's always fixable with milk. Hope that stays true at daycare. 

She is outgrowing clothes so quickly. 

Another week and a half left. I look forward to going to work but I feel it's going to be hard and stressful getting lunch ready and leaving on time in the mornings. Working around a baby's sleeping schedule is going to be tough!! 

I hope they let me leave work early a lot. I need money to pay bills but I would rather have my time with baby Girl. 

I've been looking at the Waldorf school here.  Wow!!






Monday, October 14, 2013

Three Months

She's 3 months now. She's drooling a lot I hope it's not teething. I read it can be because they don't know how to swallow their saliva yet. 

Mom asked if I want a thin gold band of grandmothers. They are guessing it was from her first husband. I said I would take it especially after finding out Lisa got the mothers ring. 

My wife booked us dinner at a restaurant I've been wanting to try. Yay!! I can't wait. So sweet. 

I don't want to countdown my days back to work but I realize it's getting close. 

We are going to be fingerprinted tomorrow for the second parent adoption. I'm also going to run up and get our background checks. Then we will be ready for the home study. 

Baby girl gives the best smiles. I love them. I love her. I hope she's always this sweet. 

I dread daycare. I dread getting a routine. I dread colds and all that crap. 

Ugh. I need to win the lottery. 


Friday, October 11, 2013

Three Months

Time has gone slow yet here we are at three months old today. I only have three more weeks until I return to work. It's been the best 16 weeks of my life but also the hardest. The first 8 weeks were not very enjoyable. Breastfeeding is hard work. Sleeping on a baby schedule is hard work too. How do they sleep SO much yet we were SO tired? 

She's three months old today. She's the most precious baby. I love her so much. My heart holds so much love and feelings for her. I get butterflies sometimes before feeding her. It's an excitement I feel. I hope that oozes out of my milk and she feels it. 

She's smiling all the time when she wakes up. Her new favorite toy is the Skwish. She's knawing on her hand a lot. She gets so aggravated because she can't get her thumb or finger open to suck on. She seems so big. The home scales show almost 13 pounds. 

We went back home to see some family from MN. It was just baby Girl and my MIL for the 2 hr ride. She did okay until we got almost back home and she had a meltdown. I got off the interstate and pulled into a Walgreens parking lot. Changing her diaper didn't seem to help so I nursed her. She finally calmed down. I don't understand what she hates about the car seat so much. Breaks my heart. 

I love you baby Girl. You fill a chamber of my heart I didn't know was there. Happy 3 months old!!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Smiles

She's all smiles. When she wakes up she smiles, flirts, and coos. She has started swinging at the parakeet we have hanging on her changing table. She stares at him and appears to have conversations with him. It's too cute. She is outgrowing her clothes TOO fast.

She let me sing to her today. She was laying cross cradle in my arms looking up at me while I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had a Little Lamb to her. I melted.

I have been thinking about the look on her face when I leave her at daycare. I cannot bare it. If she is sad or starts crying. What if she gets lonely with all the strangers? She will not know anyone and she's going to be in the arms of a complete stranger for 8 hours! That seems so cruel.

We are still co sleeping. Last night was rough--she was awake from 11 pm until 3:30 am. She flailed her arms and legs over and over. She never really cried. She fed and was wide awake. I finally took her to my Wife around 3 am. She suggested we give in to the paci...she sucked it immediately and fell asleep. She must have needed soothing. I feel guilty for not know what she needed. How could I be responsible for this little person and not know more about her in times of distress?

I return to work in this month of October. I don't want to count down the days, it's in the forefront of my mind. Some parts of me are ready to get a routine. Other parts dread the rough nights where I only get a few hours of sleep. I will miss our day in day out moments. I feel like day care will rob me of time with her. I know she needs the social interaction but I sure dread her getting sick, cold mornings, and rainy days. She'll make friends, tho, and that will be fun to watch.

We are starting the 2nd parent adoption process. We got paperwork emailed to us. We are securing a lawyer. Hopefully by the middle of January she will legally be my Wife's.

I love our baby girl.


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

11 weeks

According to Wonder Weeks she is entering a stormy spell. I would have to agree. I think she had a physical growth spurt over the weekend now a developmental leap is on the horizon. She's very clingy today. She slept almost all day yesterday. It was great!! 

We called the ped about some "stuff" in her privates. I think it's just normal discharge. BF babies have it more often. 

We are going to see our families this weekend. Another 2 hr car ride. Please Lord look down on us and have pity. I pray baby girl is good. 

My aunts brain cancer is back. Sucks. It's been almost 2 years since she discovered it. 

I love baby girls smiles. She talks to me in the mornings. She wakes up so happy. I love it!! I melt. I am in love with her. Life is as it should be now.