Monday, December 8, 2014


I called school to check on S this am. The teacher said she seemed sleepy. She ask S if she was tired and she shook her head yes. Then she asked her if she partied all night and S shook her head yes to that, too. 

Funny girl. 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014


I have been home with you the past two days from school. I enjoyed your giggles so much. I chased you up steps and around the floor. I chased you back and forth in the pool. You thought it was the funniest thing. I enjoyed our kisses and loves on the front sidewalk. You let me hold you and you slobbered all over my face. 

I love you so much. I am going to miss you. Thank you for two very special days I won't forget. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

1 year

You turn a year old tomorrow. 365. Amazing. It's not much like I thought it would be at this time. It's better in some regards. I can't think about the past years too much. I will cry my eyes out. I will tell you I enjoyed the hell out of staying home with you for 16 weeks. It was hard work but you were so worth it. The day before I went back to work you stared into my eyes from the changing pad and assured me that we would be ok. I'll never forget those eye sweet girl. 

I picked you up from Bambini this Tuesday and the shock and surprise on your face was like nothing I have seen you do before. You were so happy to see me. My heart overflows thinking about it. 

Your momma and I love you so much. So much it hurts us. You have made my life complete. You are so perfect and I adore you. I love your sweet smile and the way you crinkle your nose at me. I love the silly games we play. I love that you eat so well. I am proud of you and all you're learning to do. This next year will be even more incredible and you'll change every day I am sure. 

I will never be convinced you were ready to come out on July 11 but we have made the best of our first year together. 365 days. I love nursing you. I think it's made us close and bond. I wish I didn't feel like you don't like me sometimes. Your momma tells me it's just my Aunt Flo hormones. I hope so. I have no regrets about our first year. You've been loved as much as I am capable of. I have always chosen you first and your needs and comfort. I've wanted you to have an easy first year. It hasn't always been but we tried everything in our power to make it calm and peaceful. 

I love you as far as you can comprehend. 

11:11 pm 7/10/14

Thursday, November 7, 2013

17 weeks

This is week 1 of child care. It sucks. I miss her and it hurts me. She's doing well and adjusting well. 

She hasn't pooped in 7 days. Worrisome??

My mil said she wished she could feed baby Girl so I could eat dinner. As in breastfeed. Weird. Pissed me off. I haven't seen S all day and you wanna feed her for me? No thanks. I can live without the food. She rang the door bell a few weeks ago. Wtf?? Who rings a doorbell knowing a baby might be asleep?

Wife had paci in her pocket. Left it at work. Last night she took paci from daycare. Tonight she had to drive back to work and get it. Forgetful. 

My bday is coming up. Doesn't seem real. Doesn't seem important. 

I look forward to the wknds so much. 

She blows lots of spit bubbles. She loves to mimic. She's very nosey. Her smiles make everything OKAY. I love her so much. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

She laughed...REALLY laughed!!

She had been fussy all evening. When my MIL came in for the evening she SCREAMED like she had been hurt. She finally calmed down by nursing--multiple times. We wanted to show the MIL a new wall hanging in the nursery my Wife had put up for pictures this past weekend. We put baby Girl in the crib and held the little felt mobile we got at IKEA above her. My Wife had held it above her a few days prior when I was asleep and said she loved it. It was obvious she really does LOVE this. We started trying to think of ways to attach it to her green leaf above her crib. We tried duck tape but that didn't spin it so my Wife got some twine and ran it over the leaf and now the mobile moves. Baby Girl got SO tickled at it once that she started laughing. I mean REALLY laughing. It's almost like she couldn't stop for a minute. It was SO adorable!! My Wife and I both started crying, it was the sweetest moment.

A week from today I return to work. I hope it goes well, for both of us.

We have the first home study meeting today for the 2nd parent adoption. Yay!! We tried to clean the house some yesterday but with baby Girl being cranky it was hard. Plus my MIL didn't offer to help and baby Girl wouldn't let her hold her without crying. My Wife stayed up cleaning last night while I put baby Girl to sleep.

I think my Wife figured out why she has meltdowns--trapped air in her digestive tract. I will try to burp her better and longer and see if that works better.

Baby Girl is 15 weeks old today. WOW!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

14 weeks

She still has endless smiles. We had her pictures made by a professional photographer that we won a contest from. She came to the house today. Feeding and timing were great. Baby Girl smiled a lot so I'm hoping she got some great shots!

She drools all the time. She grabs everything and hangs on for dear life, including my nipple this week one day. Ouch!! She grabbed my hair a few times, too. The Skwish is her favorite toy but she smiles at most anything that has color or a pattern, and strings on a shirt. 

I hate when she cries. Breaks my heart. Sometimes it's really hard. I know what those feel like. They hurt so bad. It's always fixable with milk. Hope that stays true at daycare. 

She is outgrowing clothes so quickly. 

Another week and a half left. I look forward to going to work but I feel it's going to be hard and stressful getting lunch ready and leaving on time in the mornings. Working around a baby's sleeping schedule is going to be tough!! 

I hope they let me leave work early a lot. I need money to pay bills but I would rather have my time with baby Girl. 

I've been looking at the Waldorf school here.  Wow!!

Monday, October 14, 2013

Three Months

She's 3 months now. She's drooling a lot I hope it's not teething. I read it can be because they don't know how to swallow their saliva yet. 

Mom asked if I want a thin gold band of grandmothers. They are guessing it was from her first husband. I said I would take it especially after finding out Lisa got the mothers ring. 

My wife booked us dinner at a restaurant I've been wanting to try. Yay!! I can't wait. So sweet. 

I don't want to countdown my days back to work but I realize it's getting close. 

We are going to be fingerprinted tomorrow for the second parent adoption. I'm also going to run up and get our background checks. Then we will be ready for the home study. 

Baby girl gives the best smiles. I love them. I love her. I hope she's always this sweet. 

I dread daycare. I dread getting a routine. I dread colds and all that crap. 

Ugh. I need to win the lottery.