Monday, January 25, 2010

Friends

She asks why I still want to keep up with him. Am I not over him? Honestly, I am over him, but the more I am away from him the more I realize how he messed me up in my head. I always compare things in my head. And it always turns out she reacts PERFECTLY to whatever situation we are in. I don't have to worry if I ask for attention, because she asks for attention, too. I don't have to worry about either of us being too clingy because we both love it. I don't EVER walk on eggshells with what I say to her. I am the most open and honest I've ever been with anyone. Nothing is off limits. I try to fully communicate with her and tell her EVERYTHING. It's a little tougher for her, but she does open up to me more than she ever has anyone.

I love how she walks and talks and calls me pet names. I love how much we laugh together. I couldn't ask for someone more special than to spend time with. Just hanging out with her would be fun enough but to be in love with her makes it that much better.

I hope she is always in love with me. Having kids is going to be hard for me, but they are something I do want with her. The initial shock of it to my circle will be hard. My parents. I feel they will disown me. I am trying my best to get prepared for that in my head. Her family is supportive, and wonderful. I feel some might even attend our wedding. I would love to go to Cape Cod in the summertime and get married.

Her best friends gf texted asking for her address this am. Not sure what that is about.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A post for today

She gives me as many butterflies today as she did the day she moved here. I get lost in her eyes. I love how she feels. I could hold her for hours and hours. I don't mind rubbing her back. Yeah, I know!

We went to WI to pick up the Jeep we bought. It has both our names on the title. SWEET!! I never dreamed I would combine anything with anyone again. But with her it all comes naturally and easy.

She was unable to get her haircut. We met her friend at a Mongolian restaurant—delish!! Then we went east a couple of hours to visit and stay with her other friends. One of which is her ex-gf from years ago. It was a little weird for me. They are best friends but neither of them view the other as an “ex”. After being around them a little more they act like they have never even seen each other naked much less in a relationship. It eases my mind.

We visited for a bit then decided to go out to a Mexican restaurant. While my girl was in the bathroom the friends began discussing someone’s name that I am not fond of. They said he was going to meet us out after we ate. This didn’t sit well with me AT ALL. When my girl and I were alone changing clothes to go out I told her what I had overheard. She immediately went to her friend and asked her if he could NOT go with us, please. Before we had left for the weekend she had emailed her telling her I had an issue with him. Apparently she didn’t get the message. I got paranoid. Was the friend just trying to piss me off? My girl assured me she wasn’t. I mean seriously I don’t want the mother fucker around. It’s not right, not fair, no matter what world you live in. Don’t play the fucking lesbian card with me. I don’t care if lesbians are all friends with their exes, it just doesn’t work for me. It’s one thing to be nice and polite but to go out and get drunk with your ex is just asking for trouble, to me. I wonder if the friend was in the situation I am if she would be the same way. I cannot imagine if I were in that situation as the friend even WANTING to be around him, much less when her best friend comes to town to invite him out. He is taking up too much of my air.

According to my girl, her BF acted different after the incident of un-inviting HIM. Not sure if she blames me, and honestly I don’t care if she does. The best friend is a little snobby in my opinion anyway. The way she looked at both of us when we arrived at their house told me plenty. She looked us up and down. Maybe looking at my newly developed flab (she goes to the gym a lot). Either way, I didn’t feel fully comfortable. She looked at my girl the same way but I’m not sure she noticed.

After eating Mexican food we went to a local bar and they had a few drinks. I had water. I was still a little upset from the night before when I read a bday card upstairs at our house from the bf to my gf. She mentioned she was so glad she was in love. Well her bday was in May and she had told me she wasn’t in love in May. I got suspicious. Why would her bf think she was in love if she wasn’t? Don’t best friends know EVERYTHING? When I asked my gf about it she said she tried to convince herself and everyone else she was.

At the local bar my girl and I went to the bathroom. We were in there several minutes and when we came out her bf loudly said “you almost got us kicked out of here, those guys kept coming to the door to look at ya’ll”. I guess it was assumed we were making out but we actually were just talking. It hit my girl wrong and she said she didn’t know why her bf was acting like a bitch. I think he bf comes across a little bitchy about everything so I didn’t think much about it. When we got home my girl said she just wished we were at home. I did too. We said our goodbyes the next am. My girl said her bf still wasn’t acting right. On the drive home she said she feels it will be awhile before they talk again. I’m chalking it up to they have just gone in different directions and maybe aren’t as close as they once were due to distance. No matter what I will always be my girls best friend. I will never fail her or leave her or make her feel like she isn’t the most important person in the world. I hope I can be everything for her and to her. She makes me happy beyond belief. I cannot wait for Valentines Day. Even tho I try to show her everyday how much I do love her. She is amazing and mine. We now have a 2nd vehicle. Life is coming together. I’m overjoyed and head over heels crazy in love.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Inked




Our new ink. We decided on intertwined initials. Love them, no regrets. She's my girl...for good.