Reading with Rebecca

Our friend CT gave us a "reading" as a wedding gift. She has used her on several occasions. My Wife and I had never had a psychic reading before. We were both nervous and excited at the same time. Rebecca is a clairvoyant reader--she sees images. She doesn't use cards.

We started out with the first question

1) What can you tell me about my career and job

Rebecca said that I like my job but I feel stuck. That I feel like I have been pushed aside and am doing more administrative work rather than what I am good at, which is talking to patients. She said I work with someone who is jealous of me. This person (K) is reaching a head, her life isn't working at home or at work. By the end of the year she'll be off on leave. She said the people I work with do not know what I am capable of because of her.

She asked me to make a list of my perfect day at work.

She said things will be different in a few months.

2) My Wife asked about her dad

Rebecca said that is proud of my Wife and is happy she is brave and living the life that she wants to. She said that he likes me and is okay with our life. He was going to ask us a question about babies but that we need to figure that out. He said that I don't realize how pretty I am and that I should quit being so critical of myself.

She said that he had a hard childhood. She wasn't sure if his dad beat him but that he grew up very poor and had a very rough time as a kid.

She said he was not ready to leave when he passed away.

She said he had a fear of doing things he wasn't supposed to. Maybe it was a fear like something creative that he knew wouldn't be acceptable like a singer or a nurse.

She asked if we had a door in our kitchen that led to a patio with a step (we do). She asked if we ever burn a kitchen candle and it blows out a lot (no)? She said sometimes we feel a breeze blowing through and it's not a breeze...its him. None of this rang true for either of us.

3) I asked about kids.

Rebecca said she saw us having a kid. 2013. The universe is waiting on us to make a decision, and the decision is ultimately up to us. She saw us with a boy. She saw me carrying the baby more than my Wife. I am more fertile. My periods are more regular. She said my PMS is worse. She initially said that I have always wanted to kids, and my Wife hasn't...but that was actually opposite. She said to think about it if we choose to have someone donate sperm vs a sperm donor. She mentioned the names Steve or Scott that is blonde with freckles that could be our age or a little younger as the donor. She said I will have more morning sickness if I carry but that will help my PMS issues. If my Wife carried she really wouldn't even notice she is pregnant. She told me I would be more prone to gestational diabetes and to be careful what I eat while pregnant.

4) I asked about my health

She asked if I had a skin or cartilage issue. I told her I did not but my Wife does. Then she asked if my mom or grandmother had diabetes. I told her yes, my mom. She said that my mom needs to get her heart checked. She said if she hasn't had a physical recently, she should get one. She came back to the cartilage issue and it wasn't ringing any bells so she said she would just say I'm healthy.

5) My Wife asked about her gram

She asked her age. My Wife told her she had passed away. She initially said gram was quiet (not true). She said she didn't talk for the sake of talking but that if she opened her mouth it was because she had something to say. She said when gram talked people listened. She made you feel special, like you were the only one she was telling a story to. She had her time with kids but when she was talking to adults the kids knew not to talk. She said you wouldn't want to cross her.

6) We asked about us, and our marriage.

She said the only thing she sees is that when we argue I want to stay and work it out and my Wife always wants to walk away and come back to it later. She asked if one of us is a chaser and the other needs space. This is EXACTLY true, but with the opposite person. She kept telling us she had a hard time when reading two people sometimes. She said that we would be steps ahead of most couples if I could take a set amount of time and walk away and come back to my Wife...and that my Wife needed to allow me to walk away. She recommended even setting a timer. She told us to remember why we fell in love. Remember how we felt. Take date nights where we don't talk about work. Tell each other 5 reasons why we love each other.

I felt very good about the reading. She was spot on with several things...but CT had told me her accuracy is about 85%. I'm excited to see what's going to happen with my work. And also excited about the possibility of a baby in 2013. Technically Nov 2013 is when I will turn 35, so anytime before that would be okay with me. And it's not like I'm Cinderella turning into a pumpkin on 11/18/13 and my eggs are dying that day.

THANK YOU CT FOR OUR UNIQUE and SPECIAL WEDDING GIFT!!! xoxo

Suze Update

We received another phone call Friday evening from Jeffrey telling us they pitched our story to Suze and she wants us to think about something over the weekend and we'll talk more Monday. As a same sex couple what financial struggles do we face that maybe heterosexual couples do not. She wants our TOP 5.

So far, this is what we have (rough draft)

1) If we have a child and the mother that gives birth were to pass away, what should we do to prepare financially and legally? Would the baby automatically go on the 2nd parents insurance? Would a 2nd parent adoption need to be in place? With heterosexual couples, the answers are already in place. Does a will need to be in place?

2) Brianne and I are unable to file incomes taxes as a same sex married couple. We are not eligible for tax breaks like married hetero couples. Are there any financial options we might be missing? Should the birth mother count the child as a deduction every year or alternate?

3) As a same sex couple, we would not be receiving any of our spouse's Social Security check should the other spouse pass away. What should we do in preparation of this?

4) Insurance--Amanda has to take out private insurance because she is not allowed to be placed on Brianne's policy. Financially, this causes us to pay more than what a family plan would cost. Are there any healthcare loopholes?

5) Ideas??

Holy Money and all things California...

I saw a tweet from money-guru Suze Orman asking if anyone would be interested in being on her new show on OWN this fall. I clicked on the link and a list of categories appeared. #2 was for same sex couples. I clicked. A form appeared asking basic demographics then a square informing me I could enter maximum 2000 words telling my story. So...I started typing. I typed our story...I typed how my Wife and I struggle wanting a baby but we want to be smart and make sure we can afford one first. I gave our income and expenses. I hit "submit".

Yesterday evening I receive a VM from "Annie" from the Suze Orman show on OWN and she loved our story and wanted to talk to us some more. I called her back immediately after dinner. Oh wait...I jumped up and down for about a minute and squealed a bit as I ran to the other room to tell my Wife. THEN we ate dinner and I called her afterwards.

Annie asked me many questions about our income and expenses, why we wanted a kid, and asked me to email her a photo of us. Before we hung up she did a quick run down of our income vs expenses and asked where the $1800/month leftover after bills was going. I didn't have an answer.

I immediately went to our online banking and began writing down our bills. After all was said and done, we have $950 left over. That's what we have to play on for daycare, diapers, groceries, gasoline, and any "fun" money. Ummm....that's NOT going to work with kids!!

I emailed Annie a breakdown of each monthly expense and our incomes.

This evening we got a phone call from Jeffrey...with the Suze Orman Money Class show...for OWN...telling us they love our story and wanted to know if they could ask more questions. I spoke with him about 40 minutes then he asked to speak to my Wife. We both answered questions about our finances, then he told my Wife he wanted to talk to Annie again and could he call us right back. She asked if he could wait about 30 (I was cooking dinner as I talked to him). He said that would be fine and gave us his number to call him.

I gulped my dinner down (perfect for my digestive issues I'm having) and called Jeffrey back. He said most of the questions would be redundant from the previous conversation but he would also ask some psychological questions....have you ever killed yourself, thought about it, mental medication, etc. NO NO and NO. He asked my Wife the same questions then ended the conversation telling her he was going to pitch our story to Suze tomorrow or Monday and they would be in touch with us. O.M.G. !!! It's unfathomable that he's going to talk to Suze Freakin Orman about US!!! I read one of Suze's books YEARS ago...like 8-10 years ago. I've always enjoyed watching her show and seeing her approve or deny people crazy things. And I think the SNL skit about her is one of the funniest EVER.

I'm SO excited about this. I just can't believe it. Even if we don't end up on the show...it's still cool they thought we were interesting enough to call back TWICE. I feel like I'm in a beauty pageant waiting to get "called back" to see if we are "good enough".

Before my Wife got off the phone with Jeffrey, I got an email from Annie asking for more close up pictures of us. I guess they want to make sure we aren't ugly people before they have us come to LA and put us on NATIONAL TELEVISION!

#hard2sleep

The bigger question....can we afford a baby??? What if Suze tells us to sell our house...sell our car...quit going to Starbucks once a month, etc. Am I willing to give up some of the things that make me happy for the life we would have with a baby?

Boss

I ran by my boss' office yesterday on my way out of the hospital to let her know I couldn't work the next day. She began inquiring what I do with my other job. After telling her I am self-employed she asked if I was married. I confirmed I am. She asked why I couldn't get on my husbands insurance. I said "because in the state of TN, I can't get on HERS". Her jaw dropped and she said "I didn't know you were GAY!!!" She is gay, too, so I knew it would be "okay" to tell her. That started a 30 min chit-chat of getting to know each other a little better.

That part that bothered me, tho, is after she said she didn't realize I am gay, she said "oh you must be the girl!" and burst into laughter. I thought about this several times throughout the evening. Why the fuck WOULDN'T I be the girl? I don't get that statement, question, or whatever the hell it is. I would never dream of telling one of my male co-workers "oh!! you must be the dude in your relationship!" He would probably look at me with some crazy-talk eyes!

Can you tell me the point of POINTING out to me that I must be the girl in my relationship? Is it a judgement call? Is it to make ME feel better? or YOU? Couldn't there be something else said like perhaps "oh that's great!!" rather than pointing out some feminine or masculine quality about either of our looks?

Just.Plain.Weird.

Anywho...I'm glad the boss is cool with me being married to a girl. Am I just looking for something to bitch about? Not really...it truly does bother me when people say things like that. It goes back me saying I'm not "gay" enough for my Wife. She says I have no reason to think that...but I still do. I wonder how many femme lesbians are out there?