Smiles

She's all smiles. When she wakes up she smiles, flirts, and coos. She has started swinging at the parakeet we have hanging on her changing table. She stares at him and appears to have conversations with him. It's too cute. She is outgrowing her clothes TOO fast.

She let me sing to her today. She was laying cross cradle in my arms looking up at me while I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had a Little Lamb to her. I melted.

I have been thinking about the look on her face when I leave her at daycare. I cannot bare it. If she is sad or starts crying. What if she gets lonely with all the strangers? She will not know anyone and she's going to be in the arms of a complete stranger for 8 hours! That seems so cruel.

We are still co sleeping. Last night was rough--she was awake from 11 pm until 3:30 am. She flailed her arms and legs over and over. She never really cried. She fed and was wide awake. I finally took her to my Wife around 3 am. She suggested we give in to the paci...she sucked it immediately and fell asleep. She must have needed soothing. I feel guilty for not know what she needed. How could I be responsible for this little person and not know more about her in times of distress?

I return to work in this month of October. I don't want to count down the days, it's in the forefront of my mind. Some parts of me are ready to get a routine. Other parts dread the rough nights where I only get a few hours of sleep. I will miss our day in day out moments. I feel like day care will rob me of time with her. I know she needs the social interaction but I sure dread her getting sick, cold mornings, and rainy days. She'll make friends, tho, and that will be fun to watch.

We are starting the 2nd parent adoption process. We got paperwork emailed to us. We are securing a lawyer. Hopefully by the middle of January she will legally be my Wife's.

I love our baby girl.